#212 From Rock Bottom to Sacred Ground: Why We Do the Work We Do

We were two kids, a boy and a girl, who fell in love with no real foundation for what a deeply loving or connected relationship could be.

No one taught us how to hold each other in our wholeness.

We brought in our own wounds, fears, and expectations…some of which we didn’t even recognize at the time.

Quickly, we became two kids raising a kid.

Thank God, honestly.

Because we’re pretty sure our son saved us both.

We didn’t have much, yet we had each other.

And while some might say that’s enough, the truth is:

When two people carry unresolved hurt, trauma, and no roadmap for conscious love… things begin to unravel.

Seven years in, we hit bottom.

Our marriage felt heavy, distant, and fragile.

We were no longer on the same team.

There was a trench between us, deepened by years of unspoken pain, unmet needs, and sheer exhaustion.

We came close to walking away.

Really close.

And sometimes, it’s in the darkest trench that the light finds its way in.

So, on one divinely timed morning…what felt like a last-ditch attempt to “say we tried”…everything began to shift.

We didn’t know it then, but this was the beginning of *the work*.

Not the performative, read-a-book-and-try-a-technique kind.

But the soul work.

It was painful. It was raw.

And it was exactly what we needed.

We began to look inward, separately and together.

We began learning how to listen, really listen, to each other’s hearts.

We began meeting not just as parents or partners, but as humans learning how to love consciously.

We lived separately for over a year while we did this work.

Honestly, neither of us was suitable for ourselves, let alone for each other.

The work was intense.

It meant shedding layers of childhood stories, unworthiness, feeling unseen, unresolved anger, and the ways we had learned not to speak our truth.

These wounds weren’t even born in our relationship. They came from generations before us and the projections we each inherited in this life.

We stayed with it.

When we reconciled, the work didn’t stop.

In many ways, it began again… this time with clearer eyes and open hearts.

Then came a new test: Brian’s first opportunity to travel for work.

Eventually, it brought him to London for two years.

Many people thought we were crazy.

Some said, “There’s no way we could do that.”

With God at our center and our Soul Care Tools in hand, more importantly, in heart, we became even stronger.

That season shaped us in ways we couldn’t have imagined.

We ended up living apart for nearly seven years, off and on, as Brian trained elite athletes and high-end clientele around the world.

Sometimes Ryder and I got to join him experiencing places and people we’d never otherwise meet.

From the outside, it may have looked easy.

We often heard, “What a lucky lifestyle.”

But the truth?

It was hard.

It was lonely.

It stretched every ounce of our devotion and trust.

We stayed connected through dates over the phone.

We watched movies together over Zoom.

We leaned in when the distance felt unbearable.

And somehow slowly, sacredly… the space between us became an invitation to grow even closer.

This is where our foundation was born.

Not in the perfection, but in the process.

Not in the fixing, but in the remembering.

And it’s from this foundation continually evolving, still imperfect, deeply sacred, that we now hold space for others.

Conscious Couples work isn’t about having it all figured out.

It’s about choosing to “see” one another.

It’s about slowing down long enough to feel again.

It’s about building safety, trust, and intimacy from the inside out.

This work is guided by The Souling Seven, principles that help us (and the couples we serve) live in deeper presence, embodied truth, and relational alignment. Whether you work with me solo, or with both Brian and me together, our intention is to support couples in creating a connection rooted in soul, not just survival.

We’re not here to give you a one-size-fits-all blueprint.

We’re here to help you create a relationship that reflects your truth, your growth, your sacred yes.

Because your love story is worth tending to.

And because we know from lived experience and educated wisdom…that the work is hard… and it is absolutely worth it.

With heart,

"Love isn’t about never falling, it’s about learning how to rise together, again and again, with softer hearts and stronger roots."
– Mindy & Brian Quesenberry